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Went on a little adventure today. A real one at that, not a virtual one. My girlfriend and I went searching for a HomeGoods store that sells cat trees for her cat Ash so he can look out the window (something he apparently loves to do like any seasoned tweaker). We hit up four different stores along the 210, eventually trekking over an hour out from home before we finally found one. Crammed it into my tiny car and got it home safe and sound and set it up next to a window thinking Ash would be delighted.

He was not.

Ash apparently gets scared of new furniture and the cat tree was no different. We tried to pick him up and plop him in it but he wasn't having it, so I went and found the bag of catnip thinking it would mellow him out enough that he could get used to his new fort.

Now I'm not super familiar with cats or catnip but I know it makes them loopy. I don't know if they eat or roll in it or if you're just supposed to stuff it in their toys it so I just opened the bag and put it up to Ash's face, then took some out and sprinkled it on top of his head.

Ohhhhh boy did that do the trick.

He was on a ride into outer space in his new cat tree bucket, eyes half lidded and high as a damn kite. We opened the blinds so he could see out the window behind him and when he eventually turned around to face it, he got himself half out of his bucket with his paws on the window ledge and just sat there for several minutes, frozen in place squinting out the window and tripping his little kitty balls off. Eventually he pulled himself back into the bucket and, after rubbing his face on every available surface, passed out for a bit.

I've never been much of a cat person but that was worth the search for the cat tree. Don't miss the theatrical adaptation "Cat Nipped" starring Seth Rogan as Ash the stoner cat coming this fall. I will be played by Danny McBride and my girlfriend will be rewritten into my friend Bryce played by James Franco since those movies never seem to have any female leads anyway.